Throughout my life, I have gone through great amounts of ignorance and neglect. I was barely nurtured properly like a child should have been and consent was not asked when the family broke into pieces.
My friends believed that everyone around them was strong enough for anything while they were the broken-winged bird that believed life sucked when their parents refused let them out for 10 consecutive days and that love sucked when their high school 'sweetheart' of 2 weeks turned them way.
Here I go. Fuck life when you are born into a world that never took you in. The world that cold became your only blanket and your fate was already destined. Screw love when you never received a kind word from your own family and friends. And I don't.
I don't fuck life or screw love just because my family is messed up and dirt poor because everyone digs through each other's skin for money, letting greed and selfishness overpower their humanity and love or because I never experienced being special until a boy pulled me aside from the rest and became the one who stood by my side and received me willingly but one day, swept me aside because he woke up one day to believe that I was not good enough for his love.
Sure I get emotional and tend to be aggressive when I remember how far away my life is from a fairytale while people around me believe that their life is worse than the people in poverty, the children with no homes, the elders with no love, the infected people who only know of their terminal fate.
Sometime, my eyes can amaze myself at such bitterness of the world where my own friends cannot believe that good events can befall on me with their remarks, "Maybe it's an accident.", "It could be a coincidence ." or their attitudes that point out their blunt belief that I would never find happiness with a boy. They think that I cannot see through their shuffles and averted tones that shouts out, "NO! You will never get any guy to love you because I don't think your character and looks are worthy of one." Or the bitterness where my own sister can find such joy and competition in who is the better looking or the one who receives more dates. Perhaps it is blinding to her that her dates are all daft-looking with absolutely no character.
Neglect is a sin. Why should we? I do not want to ignore or hate a person because it makes me a better person. It makes me human. I may dislike a person to a great extend but never to hate. Even one who had ill-treated me for the past years does not deserve my hate.
To think that some ignore the people that they dare label as friends. If you do not like a person, do not pretend. I do not like many characteristics in my own friends but I call them my friends because as much as I threaten to despise them, they are who they are and they do not deserve any abhorrence from me. There's nothing wrong with being lower than your friends. If only my own friends could put aside any dash of grudge when I say the little things that could make me happier if not better than them.
Here is something to any friend reading this post. Especially to the ones I meet often;
I may talk a hell lot about myself and what goes around but have you ever really noticed how much more modest I am when someone else compliments me?
I may argue a lot but do you know why? Do you realize that I believe in my view very strongly and they become my own virtues instead of something that I need to proof to other? My virtues are my religion as your own religion plays as a sensitive issue to yourself.
I may act and dress a hell lot different from your average friend but do you really want your every friend to be average?
Whatever it may be that seem a flaw to you, imagine me without and ask yourself if I were to be Elisabeth because our flaws make us different from each other and no matter how bad, won't I remain your friend as your others do?
