I have to admit that I was actually interested in CIMP than AUSMAT when I heard the 75:15 ratio of assignments to exams. I would know my own capability and raw work is better than stuffing my head with information that would leak out in less than a day.
So then why did I take on AUSMAT despite its apparently 50:50 ratio of assignments to exams? Because I was acting rash and was so in love with the idea of getting a step closer to studying in Australia but who was I kidding? What did I really love about that place that I had to take on a course which I would so unlikely manage to ace?
I was in love with the idea of getting out. Out and away from the clones that cling onto my heels called peers. Out and away from the money zombies who scratch at my knees called family. Out and away from the inconsiderate heart breaking monsters called friends. I was hungry to be on my own and isolated, presented with a chance to start anew, to find proper peers, family and friends.
Then of course, I turn in to find that every boy and girl I know is set for Australia and then I have nothing to say but 'screw it!'. Now I could say that frankly, I could care less about that place anymore. It is just going to remain a distant memory of a longing.
However, what truly haunts me of my decision is that every weekday morning, sitting at the college foyer, across me to the right could be the happiest group of students in campus. Then avert your gaze back at my side where you see a group of people consisting of those sleeping, staring at their book, staring at the table or attempting to drown themselves with their earphones. With no doubt, that happy group over there happens to be CIMP students.
So what joy do I truly look forward to when I sit back on that yellow seat, my arms arched to support my heavy drooping face? None.
But honestly, you honestly do not expect that to be the ONLY ONE reason why I regret the only regretted thing I have ever done right? Right?
No. Seriously. The reason of why I do regret it is that a whole semester of fooling around does not really aid the second semester of serious studying and work. How do I pull up my TER to at least a 60 when a large majority of my end mark happens to be from EXAMS? If there's anything more that I fear apart from relationship commitments and frogs, its exams. How the crap do I stuff enough up there to get the right grades? I don't know.
How much can the stack of assignments that I am digging holes to finish help me get that desired TER? Main point: I am screwed. So thank you AUSMAT for being the most retarded programme for a person like me.
How does everything take off from here? If I don't even manage that TER of 60, SUC wouldn't even let me graduate! So let's pray that daddy will have enough money for me to go back to do CIMP, okay? Cross your fingers
