I rather not be picky but as I've learnt the hard way, never fall into a relationship with someone you do not fancy as much as you should because at the end of the day, you realized you were just desperately seeking attention but ended up with regret, guilt and possibly hurt.
Would it be really unbelievable for a girl such as myself to be happy with somebody? What am I doing wrong? The practical advise to a person in the same distressful position would be, "You're young and you still have time to go through life." Then hear my answer as I would reply, then when will I not be young? 40 itself is a considerably young age so shall I wait till I'm old enough to retire to look for my significant other or even search for the ones who will come before him?
It is a stupid advise so never tell me this, say it to others if it makes you happy but this phrase will never please me because a stranger would say this to me and I expect more from my friends as you would of me.
Would it be a reason for you to roll your eyes at me for my longing for someone to stand by my side while I stand by his because that is what we're there for? That there will be a person on the other side, holding my hand and giving me even the slightest reason to look forward to the new sun?
And if you are a friend closer to me than others, would you ignore my voice of needs with your dismissal when you know that I am far off different compared to your 17 year old girl who believes in happy endings in a relationship with a man twice her senior even or one with a boy with absolutely no substance because it seems that every other girl her age has someone to hold? Am I of that sort, if you had to ask yourself the type of person I was and dare you degrade me to such a level of immaturity.
Maybe in less complicating sentences, I need to say that when I say that I need someone to love, at that moment, might I be having a pull at fun but do you not see reality as I do when I look back to see that, yes, in fact, I am very lonely from neglect of 17 whole years that maybe someone who will hold my hand and make me smile would be the one who would end all this morbid blog posts?
